There once was a married couple with two sons.  One was an infernal optimist – he was always happy and saw the bright side of things.  His brother was just the opposite, an infernal pessimist – he was always unhappy and saw the dark side of things.  Their parents decided to do something about it, and took both boys to a doctor to see if he could make them “normal.”

“Leave it to me,” the doctor said.  He started with the pessimist.  He took him to a room filled with toys and told him, “Here son, play with all the toys you like, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

He then took the optimist to another room.  This one had a huge pile of horse poop in it.  He told the boy, “Here son, stay in this room, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

A few minutes later, the doctor returned to the room filled with toys.  He saw the pessimist boy curled up in the corner sobbing his eyes out.  “Why, what’s wrong son?  I told you, you could play with any of the toys here!”  The pessimist replied, “Yeah, but (sob) I was afraid (sob) that if I broke one, I’d get into trouble!”

Exasperated, the doctor went to the other room.  When he got there, the optimist boy was no where to be seen.  He called out to the boy, and suddenly, he pops out of the pile of horse poop, grinning like a butcher’s dog!  The doctor exclaimed, “Why son, what’s the matter with you, why are you in that pile of horse poop?”

The optimist replied, “Well doc, I figured with all this horse poop, there’s bound to be a pony in there somewhere!”

• Constantine S. Kogut, MD

  

Dr. Kogut, God rest his soul, was my Uncle.  A brilliant man, he was the kind of doctor they don’t make any more.  A general practitioner, he always took care of me when I was a child, and he made house calls.  He was beloved by all his patients and especially in my family, and he is greatly missed.  He told me that joke when I was in elementary school.